This includes wisdom acquired from many sources and from personal meditation.



The unforgiving mind, contrasted with the forgiving mind, is confused, afraid and full of fear. It is certain of the interpretation it places on its perceptions of others. It is certain of the justification of its anger and the correctness of its condemning judgment. The unforgiving mind rigidly sees the past and future as the same and is resistant to change. It does not want the future to be different from the past. The unforgiving mind sees itself as innocent and others as guilty. It thrives on conflict and on being right, and it sees inner peace as its enemy.  It perceives everything as separate.


Whenever I see someone else as guilty, I am reinforcing my own sense of guilt and unworthiness. I cannot forgive myself unless I am willing to forgive others. It does not matter what I think anyone has done to me in the past or what I think I may have done. Only through forgiveness can my release from guilt and fear be complete.



                                 I WISH 

I wish I were honest enough to admit my shortcomings:

..brilliant enough to accept flattery without it making me arrogant; ..tall enough to tower above deceit;

strong enough to treasure love;

brave enough to welcome criticism;

..compassionate enough to understand human frailties;

..wise enough to recognize my mistakes;

..humble enough to appreciate greatness;

..staunch enough to stand by my friends;

..human enough to be thoughtful of my neighbor;

..and righteous enough to devote myself to the love of God.




“You cannot, when you do not

drink with those with whom

you used to drink,

be agreeable to them as you were before.


Choose, then, whether you will

Be a hard drinker and pleasant

To your former associates or

A sober man

And disagreeable to them”




From the “discourses” of Epictetus

Book 4 Chapter 2    A.D. 60-138



Detachment means separating the personality you love from anything you don’t like. It means accepting anyone unconditionally as an individual of worth and dignity, while steadfastly rejecting the destructive influences of their defects on yourself and on the family in your care.


Detachment means caring enough to relinquish your fantasies and fictions sufficiently to accept the full reality of defective conditions in ourselves and others.


Detachment means recognizing anger, resentment, fear, recrimination, self justification, false pride, self-condemnation and self pity, so that decisions can be made and actions taken dispassionately, in a loving wisdom and. with calm resolve.


Detachment is a learning process of constructive independence, not a license to gratify your self with retaliation. It is an assertion of your human rights, not a weapon to hold over anyone. It is a tool for serenity.


Detachment means being objective, not indifferent; flexible, not indecisive; firm not hard; wise, not clever; patient, not resigned; strong, not overbearing; resolute, not stubborn; compassionate, not indulgent.


Detachment is profound love, wrapped in understanding and bound by courage, helping you to live with serenity and fulfillment in spite of the environment, and in constant readiness for the other person to choose to improve without any expectations from ourselves.








Denial is a refusal to believe or accept what is true based on old conclusions about life.

(Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson, Growing Up Again.  Harper and Row, 1989 p. 80)


We learn denial early, usually in our family of origin.  When I was a child we changed locations regularly leaving beloved people, animals, and things behind.  I was prohibited from crying or voicing disagreement through the use of threatened or severe punishment.  I was denied things that I wanted simply for voicing a desire for them.  I learned that crying when hurt or asking for anything brought no relief or satisfaction and in fact created strife and stress within the family. It is unendurable to sustain pain without the hope of relief or to not be allowed to express our true feelings so I shut down, or split off from my feelings and denied my pain.  I learned that no matter how hard I tried I could never quite do enough to a sufficiently high degree of proficiency for my parents so I quit feeling disappointment when they did not express satisfaction with my performance.  I had only one goal – to get away from them and to have as little contact as possible with them.  And then they scuttled that by making me feel responsible for their welfare through familial loyalty as in, “respect thy father and mother”.  I will never be free of them while on this earth – I only hope that I can be set free of them in the hereafter. 


Poor wretch in misery and pain,

Who show’d improper attitude

When he did openly complain,

Was made to suffer even more,

To teach him proper gratitude

For his pathetic plight, before.



Poem written byCommander Coffee Vietnam War POW in the Hanoi Hilton 


People are often unreasonable,
Illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
You will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

Be Blessed

 ~~~~~ Mother Theresa~~~~~~



Clarence Darrow



Airs, arrogance, conceit, condescension, egotism, haughtiness, insensitivity, narcissism, pride, self-importance, selfishness, self-satisfaction, self-centeredness, smugness, snobbery, superiority, self-importance, vanity are all the basis for discontent and make you unwilling to be what God intended you to be.

 Jim Huetson 11/19/2012




To be nobody but yourself in a world which is
doing its best, night and day, to make you
everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight; and never stop
fighting.  ~e.e. cummings, 1955


He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon
whittle himself away.  ~Raymond Hull


God has given you one face, and you make yourself
another.  ~William Shakespeare

All my life I had been looking for something, and
everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what
it was.  I accepted their answers too, though they
were often in contradiction and even
self-contradictory.  I was naive.  I was looking
for myself and asking everyone except myself
questions which I, and only I, could answer.  It
took me a long time and much painful boomeranging
of my expectations to achieve a realization
everyone else appears to have been born with:
that I am nobody but myself. 

 ~Ralph Ellison, Battle Royal"

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
~Judy Garland


Ambition is the last refuge of failure.

~Oscar Wilde


"Love many, trust few, harm no one"

~Yau Man


Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others
to live as one wishes to live. 
~ Oscar Wilde


As he submits to God's Will, and surrenders to the Creator, he is
rid of selfishness and conceit.
~Sri Guru Granth Sahib



"It is the man in the arena of public life that we honor, whose face is marred by dust and sweat, and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and short-coming; but who does actually strive to do the deed, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumphs of high achievements, and at the worse if he fails at least fails while daring greatly." -- T. Roosevelt





Who can protest and does not, is an accomplice in the act.
-- The Talmud


I have watched as the congress has given authority for an internationally illegal war to a reigning president.  I have watched as the congress has removed all of the integrity of financial controls over soulless corporations allowing them to entice the ignorant into personal bankruptcy through usury.  I have watched the poor and the elderly be denied adequate health care, by law, to provide unconscionably high profits for drug and insurance companies while the members of congress are provided the best health care in the nation at no cost to them personally.  I have watched as congress has taken money out of the pockets of the middle class, the poor, and the elderly plus the future incomes of those same citizens’ children and grand children to provide bailouts for those corporations with extremely high bonuses to the CEOs who generated their corporate problems.  I have watched the fortunate receive the same retirement, with no increase, as in the past few years, and be grateful that they, too, didn’t loose everything in the stock market while the congress accepted the automatic wage increase that they voted themselves years ago.  No matter how loudly congress squeals it is they who have created our problems and it must be they who resolve them.  Every time the majority and minority leaders open their mouths they prove that there is not enough integrity among congress, regardless of party or religious affiliation, to accept responsibility for the present condition of the country let alone to resolve those problems through mutual cooperation.  It is said that rank has its privileges.  They do not understand that it also has its responsibilities.

 Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two
"wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
Greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
Pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
Kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."


                                                            WHO YOU HELP


You don’t get to choose who you help.


The Infinite Source places those it needs you to help before you.


You don’t get to fully understand how you have helped.


That belongs to the Infinite Source


Life is like a jigsaw puzzle.  If even one piece is missing it will never be completed.


You can only serve God by serving His children.